Tuesday, February 2, 2010

A Venus-Pluto Kind Of Love

A Venus-Pluto pairing holds within it great depth and complexity. With Pluto's presence, this love goddess is riddled with themes of unrequited love, rejection and abandonment, potential violence, power struggles and control, resentment and revenge, jealousy and possessiveness, emotional intensity, deep bonding (or bondage), obsessions and complusions, and some serious sexual sizzle.

It's obvious Pluto is no lightweight, and if you have venus in aspect with him, expect any of the above themes to characterize your relationships at some point in time. These themes occur in order to transform the "love consciousness". Eventually, the recipient of this aspect must go through some heavy and intense issues related to the love life with that single purpose in mind (transformation). Venus-pluto people must learn lessons of self-love, self-worth, and self-sufficiency within the context of partnerships. The partner and the relationship itself becomes the catalyst for the healing of toxic patterns related to the way in which the venus/pluto individual loves and relates to others.

Control, manipulation and submissiveness
Venus-pluto people must become aware, at some point, thru an enforced relationship crises, of their tendency to either control or be controlled by another. This control behavior has the same root cause in either case...insecurity. Because of past early childhood abandonment issues or strict parental control and manipulation, this person has developed defense mechanisms of either control/manipulation or submisiveness (door-mat syndrome). Some people stay in abusive or difficult relationships because bad love is better than no love.

Sexual Prowess
Many people with pluto emphasized in their charts are notorious for being superior lovers, "the best you've ever had". This is a form of control and manipulation, where sexual seduction keeps the other coming back for more. Either the venus-pluto native will possess this skill or the partner will. Some of them may purposely use their magnetism and smoldering sexuality (so characteristic of Scorpio) to lure potential love interests.

Unrequited Love, Rejection, and Abandonment
Love that is un-reciprocated or of a less intense nature than the venus-pluto person is giving is another typical scenario. This situation is very common within the human condition, but occurs at a much higher rate with venus-pluto person. It is not totally uncommon for people to die, or just disappear from their lives. This is very harsh, but it is to enforce the lesson of self-sufficiency. Some may even do the abandoning and rejecting first, before the other has a chance to leave them.

Jealously and Possessiveness
Many venus-pluto people are known to carry a jealous streak within them, therefore they can become very possessive of their mate. Underlying this is the fear of abandonment and rejection, and this behavior works to protect them from that occuring, or so they think.

Obsession and Compulsion
Making the love object the focus of their lives is a common theme with this aspect. They can easily become obsessed with the person or the relationship, with extreme cases resulting in "stalker behavior".

Resentment and Revenge
Scorpios are notorious for holding onto old resentments, sometimes for a whole lifetime. Its also not uncommon to hear them talking about plotting revenge against those who have wronged them in love, and if their not talking about it...their certainly thinking about it.

Deep Bonding and Emotional Intensity
There is no love quite like a scorpio's love. They have an intensity about them that makes the object of their affection know, on no uncertain terms, their not fooling around. They take their relationships very seriously, once the right partner is found. There is a certain depth and intensity to their show of affection, that can either make the other person weak in the kness, or run the other way.

All of the above themes can be acted out by either the native with this aspect or by the people he/she becomes involved with.

Core Issue
The issue underlying each and everyone of these behaviors is fear and insecurity. All of these behaviors are mostly unconscious to the venus/pluto person, or at least their purpose and intentions are. They operate from their past woundings of abandonment, loss, rejection, and loss of control. Thus, they keep getting pulled into dramatic and painful relationship scenarios, until they recognize the dysfunction and work to consciously heal it.

This soul must realize that the problem is never with the partner. The issue lies within the venus-pluto individual him/herself. There is a deep sense of wounding, a feeling of being unloveable and unworthy, that never quite goes away...always bubbling just under the surface of awareness. The partner just brings out the issue into the light of day, so that the venus-pluto person can finally heal the pain and transform it into a strength. There is much power and strength to be gained by developing a sense of self love and self worth, and forgiving the people who wounded us the most, which is the venus/scorpio path. Forgiveness frees both yourself and others from heavy emotional baggage which sours life.

The evolutionary intent for pluto with venus is to heal these issues within the psyche. Like I mentioned in previous posts (Need Some Zen: Find Your Inner Bull and Scorpio Musings), the opposite of Scorpio is Taurus. The Taurus side of the polarity can assist us in re-building and re-establishing our sense of self and worth. By possessing ourselves, rather than others (out of fear of loss), we can regain control of our lives and stop controlling others. This is the type of behavior that drives others away from us, which is exactly what venus-pluto people fear the most, abandonment. Embracing the Taurean polarity brings a sense of empowerment back to the self and allows these souls to rise like the phoenix from the ashes of the past.

Taurus asks Scorpio to stop perpetuating the inner drama, and instead work to cultivate peace and calm, appreciating all of the simple abundance life has to offer. Not to stew in the pain from the past, but to see that life is a gift in the here and now, and to embrace it while we have the chance... in this moment! Taurus teaches how to hold the pain in loving awareness, not reacting, just observing with compassion and understanding, an act that has the power to dissolve the hurt, and allows us to move on with life.

The venus-pluto individual must consciously choose this path of healing and transformation, or he will be faced with a life filled with pain, loss and drama, and that is usually the path of the venus-pluto person, at least for a certain portion of the life.

If and when he/she undertakes this healing path, the opportunity arises to become a healer of other's pain. Scorpios are known to be the best healers of the zodiac, because of their deep understanding of the human condition. You cannot heal what you cannot feel, and Scorpio has been endowed with the gift of intense feeling. For this reason, these people have the greatest chance to heal and rise above their pain, and guide other's on the same path.
This can be the greatest redemption of the Venus-pluto individual.

With Venus-Pluto...love hurts....and heals....


  1. I sometimes detest my capability to feel so intensely. But, I would never want it to be taken away because I think that despite the pain, my life would be meaningless without it.

    One of the most important lessons I have learned is the difference between craving and desire. Craving left me obsessive, hurt, and miserable. I still desire that certain thing, but I feel so liberated now and I feel that my heart is silent.

    You make a good point about relationships, but I know that if I were to be in a truly fulfilling relationship, there would have to be that spiritual merge.

  2. All I learned so far is sex, manipulation and how to transform my love. Everything else hurts.

  3. I ve had this is synastry with someone . His venus siting on my libra pluto in my 12th house .

    Excruciating pain .